Tonight I decided to try and fall asleep to Why Did I Get Married, 2. Bad idea! I usually fall asleep to The Nanny, sort of uneventful just funny, but this movie, was quite the rollercoaster.
Holy Moly, by the end of the movie I had tears, I was fearful, and I was stressed. Movies like that are usually bad for me to watch because I end up taking upon the emotions the movie carries. So, if the movie is sad and depressing, I end up feeling sad and depressed. Go figure.
But somehow, by the end of the movie, I also feel enlightened. Now, I'm wide awake at 4 a.m, thinking about my life.
Everything that the movie wasn't, serene.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go, I will
counsel you and watch over you.
- Psalm 32:8
I sometimes consider myself a worry wart, well maybe more than not. But I have to remind myself that nothing is in my control. I'm such a control seeker, in ways that I don't even notice and I'm not even going to go in to that. But my struggle, to let go. To accept the way my life is, because I have to trust that it's the way God wants it to be. I cannot worry about my job, my home, or my struggles, instead I have to give them up. So hard.
But I'm reminding myself tonight, at 4am. To not worry, to not stress, and to not let the world affect the way I live my life.
"Let go and let GOd."
Be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead!"
- I Peter 1:6