Saturday, May 15, 2010


Tonight I decided to try and fall asleep to Why Did I Get Married, 2. Bad idea! I usually fall asleep to The Nanny, sort of uneventful just funny, but this movie, was quite the rollercoaster.
Holy Moly, by the end of the movie I had tears, I was fearful, and I was stressed. Movies like that are usually bad for me to watch because I end up taking upon the emotions the movie carries. So, if the movie is sad and depressing, I end up feeling sad and depressed. Go figure.
But somehow, by the end of the movie, I also feel enlightened. Now, I'm wide awake at 4 a.m, thinking about my life.

Everything that the movie wasn't, serene.

God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;

Enjoying one moment at a time;

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

Taking, as He did, this sinful world

as it is, not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right

if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life

and supremely happy with Him

Forever in the next.


--Reinhold Niebuhr

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go, I will

counsel you and watch over you.

- Psalm 32:8

I sometimes consider myself a worry wart, well maybe more than not. But I have to remind myself that nothing is in my control. I'm such a control seeker, in ways that I don't even notice and I'm not even going to go in to that. But my struggle, to let go. To accept the way my life is, because I have to trust that it's the way God wants it to be. I cannot worry about my job, my home, or my struggles, instead I have to give them up. So hard.
But I'm reminding myself tonight, at 4am. To not worry, to not stress, and to not let the world affect the way I live my life.

"Let go and let GOd."

Be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead!"

- I Peter 1:6

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