Monday, March 15, 2010


These are the three things I did today:
1. Refreshed my heart and mind
2. Revived my soul and purpose
3. Ran and prayed while I did it.

I'm amazed sometimes by what my runs reveal to me. Sometimes they are the product of my need to control so my only goal is to complete what I told myself I had to do. But sometimes they are my devotion. I cannot wait for the day where they become my everyday devotion. Where I can close out the world, words, sounds, whispers, thoughts, etc and listen only to God. I didn't have my IPOD today, which some how earlier put me into a strange mood. Not quite a mood of sadness and depression, but of emptiness. I've allowed even my Christian Gospel music to be my motivator in running. Instead it should be my conversation I will have with God.

When I first got out of my car, I looked for a definite line marker so I would know exactly where to stop. I walked to it, did my two second stretch, then set off. I was unsure how I'd feel, because earlier that day I jumped on the treadmill and I could only go a minute because I was so sore and heavy. But while I drove to the parthenon, I prayed that this run be for God. I can't run for myself anymore.

I set off and started my prayer immediately. I prayed for my depression and asked God to clearly speak to me; to set me free from this strange and random burden I was carrying. Then I began admitting some sort of sin I randomly found I had.
My need to control.

It's SO weird! I never knew I had a control problem because outwardly, I'm submissive. I allow people to control me and I never make decisions. But in my relationships and habits, I create boundaries. Until I talked to Matthew afterwards, I never would have known it truly existed. But he stated its alive and well....

So I prayed for my control. I prayed for many other things and then ended and just enjoyed the birds, sounds, and nature feel of the run. I was moved by my surroundings, but they felt like God. Peaceful [the sweet breeze, ducks floating, trees swaying], loving [children feeding the birds, people walking their dogs, friends chatting] and calm [my mind, homeless friends, the busy street].

God was there with me, He spoke to me and even told me to end early. I'm grateful for my run today.
I pray that I can have more just like it.

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