Sunday, April 25, 2010

I'm going to fight it, with strength not my own

10 In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the LORD. 11 And she made a vow, saying, "O LORD Almighty, if you will only look upon your servant's misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the LORD for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head."  1 Samuel 1:10

1"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God[a]; trust also in me. 2In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. 3And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. 4You know the way to the place where I am going." John 14

Another struggle is going by feeling. Feeling alone. If I'm not "feeling" great about myself I let it affect my day,the way I interact with people, and my mood alone. I'm still battling it. I want to get past the "feeling." I want to move to my faith and my trust that I am who God says I am, not how I feel I am. Random verses and stories help me conquer this. The story of Hannah was a new one to me. But her faith got her through and in the end blessed her. She was in a depressed lonely state but prayed and fought. I only hope that I can be so strong the next time I am overcome. It's so much easier said then done.

I want my self-worth to come from something other than the world. I want it to come from God. I want to stand strong in who I am..not because I'm alike the world or those standing next to me, but because I can stand alone. Finding my self-worth through something other than my eyes will be a big journey for me:

"There's a mountain, here before me.
And I'm going to climb it,
with strength not my own.

He's going to lead me,
or the mountain beats me
carry me through
carry me through"

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